It should be obvious but....

People don't seem to believe or realize the things my children have done or are capable of doing. So here is a list of lessons learned and rules that I have come up with .....usually much too late.

Do not stand on your brother! (approx ages 2 & 6mo)

Finding a screw driver does not give you permission to disassemble every item in the house with screws to include the door latch plates, coolers (yep didn't know they even had screws) and every toy in your bedroom! (around 3&4)

We do not make chocolate milk by dumping 1/2 gallon of white and 1/2 gallon of chocolate in the carpet! (first deployment, ages 2&3 yr old)
A complete jug of laundry detergent dumped on the basement floor is incredibly hard to clean up and makes for very very sudsy next load of towels in the wash! (first deployment, 2&3 yr old)

Even if you throw eighteen eggs on the kitchen floor there are still no chickens!! (again first deployment)

A lamp/end table that takes mommy 30 minutes to assemble only takes a bathroom visit by mom for two boys to disassemble. All while daddy watched from Iraq on webcam and couldn't do a thing about it!!

Pouring milk into the deep freezer is NOT how to make ice cream!

Sticking your foot into a boot that was used to hide an opened popsicle is really gross!!

Do not throw things out the second story play room window! (This really happened. I was sitting in the living room minding my own business when out of the corner of my eye I swore I saw something fly by, and then again and then I saw it! Yep they were throwing random toys out the window!!) (Ages 3&4)

A hat thrown onto a ceiling light fixture will catch on fire!

A magnetic hot wheels car put into a two day old very expensive microwave will catch on fire. (again first deployment ages 2&3)

When a small boy with a significant speech delay says anything that sounds even a little like "fire" you should run!

Husband looks like an idiot when he calls the fire department because the house is filled with smoke when the fire department comes and it's toast in the toaster that was being held down by a hungry 3 year old. (Happened, yep, real life, Dana called me to tell me to come to her house before coming home after work. All of this was compliments of Korbin. I watched the fire truck go by shortly before that when I was working but I didn't realize it was going to my house.)

Do not put your brother in the lazy susan! It's very hard to get a small child out! (that's Korbin) Plastic Easter eggs flushed down the toilet will cause a major back up causing daddy to take apart the toilet to find the problem. Then he put it back together and realized there was more than one egg in the toilet and requires the process to be repeated! Always check for more than one!!! ages (3&4)

Paper cups flushed down the toilet will cause a backup. The plumber guy will come out and tell you that there must be another problem and it can't be just a cup. He will put in a new toilet and not tell you what the problem was, however his little helper will tell you, it was a cup. Hmmm who said that to begin with? ME ME ME!! Don't use paper cups....go green!

Do not paint the wall with yogurt! (Tayton age 2)

Sharpie ink can be removed from the refrigerator, floor, cabinets and counters using lots and lots of rubbing alcohol. Using that much rubbing alcohol might concern your neighbors.

And since I couldn't find the sharpie picture I'll leave you with this one instead!! Because getting dressed has always been confusing in this house!