I talked to my friend Wendy last night. She cracks me up. You see she saw on tv that some animal was licking its own eyeball. She felt the need to call me laughing at 10pm to ask if I can lick my eyeball. Of course not but for some reason the word Oculolinctus came flying from my mouth as I remembered the term from an article in Cosmo a million years ago about creepy people with eyeball licking fetishes.
Wikipedia says:
Oculolinctus (also known as "worming") is a paraphilia whereby people are aroused by licking their partner's eyeballs and or having their eyeballs licked.
So instead of me looking super smart by knowing this terminology I look like some sort of creepy eyeball licker. I tried to explain how Kirke and I were laughing hysterically and then made oculolinctus jokes for a few weeks. Noooo the truth is too strange to believe so instead I'm certain she thinks I'm some sort of creepy.
Well I'm putting this on the record that eyeballs freak me out! I don't want to touch yours or mine with my finger or any other part of my body.
This is one reason why:
When my aunt got contacts for the first time a million years ago she had this little plunger thing that she asked my best friend and I to use to help her get her contact out cause she couldn't get it. The popping feeling of the plunger on the eyeball as we missed time after time not even able to find the stupid contact was enough to freak me out for life.
Your welcome! I knew you'd wanna see that so I googled pictures of eye plungers!
8 comments:
lol that was for hard contacts a long time ago... soft contacts are so much easier! LOL
OMG GIRL!!! Only you can do a blog about contact plungers LMAO. I LOVE you!!!! Tell Wendy "Hey" for me. Is she moving to Benning w/ BRAC???
OMG you are creepy!That is worse than the eyeball tattooing.Ugh
I think I threw up a little well actually Im certian of it .... eeewww seriously who thinks thats a turn on? And eye plungers? Seriously where do people get this stuff? EEEWWWW!!
That was both depraved and hawt. I approve.
Okay, that last picture was really bad. You know, we're deeply middle aged in this house and we need to spice up our lives here, but the eyeball thing? Wow. That's more than I can even think about!
Atkins has lost it's OOOMPH in the dite world but it works so damn well!! 6 pounds in 7 days. NOt bad! And I am finally not sooo exhausted!!
Glad you liked the video!! I LOVE IT!!
Hallie
CAUTION you totally had me freaking out here! You said "we're deeply middled aged...." and I thought you meant I was middle aged and I was freaked out cause I thought that meant I was middle age at 28 and then I would die at 56 and that's not gonna work for me! LOL
My friends were laughing when I shouted "I'm not middle aged" *not that there's anything wrong with that* but they thought I was gonna cry!
Thanks for commenting now that I know you were here I can go to your blog too! Or maybe I already have hmmm...
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