15 Things That I Suck At

I am not without flaws. I know you're probably surprised ...... or not ...... but I have many flaws and I thought you should know about a few of them.

1. I suck at folding and putting away laundry. I'll wash and dry it all day but when it comes time to move on to the next step I'm suddenly so tired or my arms and legs are broken so I can't possibly fold laundry. Therefore once a week I build Mt. Laundry in my living room chair and after a few days of diving in to find clothes to wear only to find the most wrinkled shirts ever seen by the naked eye, I give in and fold my clothes and put them away. Seriously have you seen the new GE washer and dryer commercial with the 6 months of laundry ball rolling around? That was mine.

2. I suck at cooking small meals. I always cook way too much! Even with both of my friends and their herd of kids here I still end up with left overs. I have recently realized I also SUCK at eating left overs and end up wasting food. Sad.

3. I suck at getting up in the morning to get the kids ready for school. Yep last week they woke up and let me sleep in which resulted in them being tardy for school. Oops! Today we got up at 7:30 and had to leave at 8. I suck!

4. I suck at understanding the ridiculous things that come home from school! Today my 5 year old had a note in his folder from his PE teacher stating that because he was absent one day and missed 20 minutes of PE, that he had until the end of the week to make up that work. WHAT? That's right! I have to sign a form stating that he has been physically active for 20 minutes to get participation credit for that day that he was home sick! WTF? Seriously? He's 5! Is it acceptable to write that he completed his 20 minutes by racing from the dining to the living room and diving onto the love seat? Or how about that he practiced throwing by using my clean socks that were supposed to be carried up the stairs and not launched as grenades from the top of the stairs! Or how about the forbidden jumping on the bed? It's not encouraged but does take place and I'm certain that he's done at least 20 minutes of that over the past few days. And like any normal 5 year old boy he cannot walk! He runs everywhere he goes within the house, can I add up those minutes? Because I KNOW he's run from his room to the kitchen at least 100 times!

5. I suck at trying to rationalize with my children! I need them to clean their junk out of my hallway so that I can get to my own room. They can't figure out why it's not okay to have the mattresses, gigantic bear and moose, kitchen stools and every blanket they can get their grubby little paws on into my bedroom doorway! Then they can't figure out why I'm throwing things out of the way like a mad woman! Here's another example from tonight:

Why do we have to do homework? Because you're teacher sent it home and wants you to do it so you can be smart.
Well then why didn't she make us do it at school? Because she ran out of time.
Well then why did we have so much time for free choice centers? Damn it I don't know! Do your work or I'm selling you on eBay!

6. I suck at keeping my car clean! I try. I do. But then we spend a day running around doing things which leads to eating in the car which leads to food on the floor and papers and wrappers. Which leads to me being mad about it but having my hands full when we go in the house so I can't grab the mess and they fail to have enough empty hands too and I suck at remembering to make them go back out and clean it up! Right now I need to fold the seats down and jack up the front of the van and just let it all slide out into the dumpster!

7. I suck at following through with my threats to naughty little blond boys! Mostly this is because I like to think I'm funny which leads me to making irrational threats that if I did carry through with I'd wind up in jail. Like the time Korbin was playing with our friends hubby Big C and hauled off and punched him right in his stuff! I'm pretty sure I threatened to take his stuff right off if he ever hit someone there again! Well duh! It's not like it's stuck on using Velcro!

8. I suck at being patient with these guys when I'm stressed out! Yep I turn into a yelling screaming maniac of a mom who should probably be locked in a padded room except that would require the Dad to come home from the desert and the Army doesn't want that so they tolerate me....for now!

9. I suck at keeping my mouth shut! Yep I do! Don't act surprised! I let things slip right through my lips without even thinking twice about the political correctness of my words. And I like to be right! And when I am right I like to prove that I'm right. Yep that's me! I'm a right fighter!

10. I suck at singing! Yep I have the voice of a coon dog. But that's okay cause I like to sing along with my favorite songs. Especially ones that annoy my friends or make me look silly. I'm okay with that!

11. I suck at saying NO! HUGE flaw! So from now on when I say "yes" take that as a "no" okay? Most of the time this isn't a problem except when people start to take advantage of me. Then it gets ugly. Mostly because the rest of my friends who don't take advantage of have my back and will tell you that you're taking advantage of their "door mat" ! Thanks guys!

12. I SUCK at being serious! I can't do it! I make everything into a joke. I'm the girl making fun of my friends during the sad movies for crying because I can find something funny about the situation. I am also the girl making jokes when everyone is sitting quietly or when we're trying to be a responsible audience. I can't help it, it makes me happy. I am not good at being serious. It's not fun and I suck at not being fun!

13. I suck at doing one thing at at time! I can't just sit and watch TV. I have to be text messaging or playing solitaire on my cell phone or messing around on the computer. I can't just talk on the phone either. I have to be driving or cleaning or again on the computer. Or maybe folding laundry....Oh that might be a plan!

14. I suck at confrontations. I will always end up apologizing for something that I have no reason to be sorry about or I'll end up just getting mad and staying mad! Oh well screw it! See....

15. I suck at turning my brilliant ideas into brilliant plans and carrying through with them. I have all these crazy thoughts pop into my little head and then I tell someone but that's usually where it ends. I need more of a drive to follow through. I suck at following through.

So some of you may wonder what I'm going to do about all of these problems? No? Well you should be wondering because those are 15 things that I suck at doing and should want to fix right? Nah I didn't think so either. I'm okay with those things. I'll work on them some other time....or not cause I suck at following through!

Oh well people love me anyhow! Right? Don't you?

What do you suck at? Would you fix it if you could?