He Told His Mom On Me

MEN! I tell ya, sometimes you tell them one little thing and they get all crazy acting. He just happened to call me while I was at the hospital after my surgery during a bad few hours. Yes I had surgery, no I didn't talk about it on my blog. So he calls me, from Iraq and hears how miserable and sore and pitiful I am. He then calls after I'm discharged and realized my family (they came to help me after my surgery) had to leave today and I'd be on my own after only being home for one full day. So what does he do?

HE CALLED HIS MOM!!

I'm almost 30 man! you can't call your mommy and tell on me! Just because you're not here to know for yourself that I'm okay doesn't mean you get to tell on me!

If everything had gone as it should have gone I'd be just freakin fine. Why the heck did it have to get complicated? The surgery was the most violating thing I'd ever had to go through. It involved lots of torturous devices and 3 slings and a catheter and some other mean mean things. Well when they took the catheter and I wasn't able to urinate on my own they decided I got a parting gift!

Not like your typical parting gift from game shows either. No no no let me tell you about mine! It's a Foley catheter! Yay me! Complete with night bag and two legs bags. Its horribly uncomfortable, horribly embarrassing and is slowing my recovery dang it all!

So my parents left today and Kirke called his mom yesterday and she's driving here from Texas right now. I love that she can come and help but I hate feeling so helpless. I want my husband home to take care of me and hold me when I'm crying in pain and frustration.

I damn well better be healed by the time he gets home because I deserve to get a little action after all this torture!!

Are You Freakin Kidding Me? What's Next?

I just saw this commercial on HGTV (yeah yeah go ahead laugh). It's advertising these limited time offer commemorative pieces of history! They actually said "they're running off the shelf". I've seen the coins and I'm okay with that I understand the whole wanting a piece of history thing.

However this is going way too far:

Tennis shoes with the presidents picture on them?

They come in three colors! What a deal....weird deal.

Don't worry girls! There's some for you too!

And for you bargain shoppers there's an added bonus! You get to choose one of these free gifts! A backpack with our presidents face on it OR a basketball.....what a deal!

I make up a lot of stories to make my friends laugh, and well, just for my own enjoyment. But even I can't make up something like that!

Oh and you better hurry they are only making 20,000 pairs of the shoes!

I'm Going To Be Filthy Rich!

Okay so seriously though do people really respond to these crazy ass emails saying they have money for you and all you have to do is send money to secure it. Blah blah blah!

This one really made me laugh and I wanted to share it with all of you. And please by all means go ahead and claim my fortune. I'm not in the mood to be rich today.


Good day,

I have been waiting for you to come down here and pick your $4..5 Million Dollars USD but I did not heard from you. Then I went and deposited the $4.5 Million Dollars USD, as a consignment boxes to FEDEX COURIER COMAPNY BENIN BRANCH. in Benin Republic, because I travelled to SAUDI ARABIA and i will not come back till next month end. I want you to contact the FEDEX COURIER COMAPNY BENIN BRANCH. to know when they will deliver your consignment boxes to you. Please i want to let you know that only the director knows the content and no body else knows about this only Dr Aminu Yayi the director So please waist no time in contacting them with the below information. I have paid for the delivery fee so the only money you have to send to them now is the security keeping fee of your consignment. Please i will advice you to be friendly with Dr Aminu Yayi the director because he alone has the idea of the content of your consignment. But i want to let you know that i did not give him the key of the boxes so please take note so as soon as they deliver the consignment use this(Code numbers to open the tow boxes to know if the complete amount of $4.5 Million Dollars USD is in it.. The first box code (0036589) the second box code (0014759) and i want you to keep this code numbers confidential in your home to avoid another person getting in touch with your money. may God bless you and your family.

You have to contact FedEx Express Courier Company now for the delivery of your Consignment with this information bellow;

Directors Name: Dr.Aminu Yayi
Companys Name: FEDEX EXPRESS COURIER COMAPNY BENIN BRANCH.
E-mail: ( fedex-express-servies@msn.com )
Website: www.fedex.com
CONTACT PHONE NUMBER/ +229-93017559 OR +229-97530816

Try to contact them as soon as possible to avoid increasing the security keeping fee I gave them your delivering address but you have to reconfirm it to them again to avoid them making mistake in delivering your consignment to your home, reconfirm below information to the company immediately and tell them to send to you the airway bill receipt as soon as you send them the security fee. I would have paid the security fee for you but they said no way because they don't know when you will contact them so please they are waiting for you to contact them with your information to avoid mistake in delivery. and let them know also that they should waist no time in sending to you the tracking number of your consignment so that you can be able to track it and know when it will arrive your country.
Full Name:
Address:
City and Country:
Home telephone:
Cell Telephone:
Copy Of International Pas-Port Or Driving License:
Your Age and Occupation:

Let me know as soon as you receive your consignment, and check the contents weather the complete of the total $4.5 Million Dollars USD is in it. Please always call them to know the condition of this Tow boxes because you know the content so please let it be very important to you So try and do everything possible to make sure that this two boxes gets to your home with out any delay.

Regards
Mr. Robert Daniel

Seriously? Who does that? Idiots!

PS WOW spell check just went nuts on that email! LMAO! GO figure!

Today They Were Wed

Today was the day! We allowed our 6 year old son to marry his soon to be 5 year old sweetheart! Korbin and Megan (kormen and magen) had their long awaited (3 days now) wedding.



Megan put on her beautiful wedding dress and veil and placed her tiara upon her head.



Korbin had his mohog spiked up high with blue hair gel. His Army Combat Uniform (ACU's) was worn with pride.



The bridesmaids were beautiful and the groomsmen were acting silly. The officiant held her imaginary book as they waited for the bride to make her way to the gazebo.





Here's the video to prove we really did all of this. Who else do you know who can throw a wedding for less than 40bucks that includes engraved tokens of their love?






Here they are exchanging forced loving glances after the ceremony.

Megan is a kissing girl and Korbin is okay with that on occassion on the cheek.

These are the dogtags we got in place of wedding bands.




You didn't really think we'd have a wedding without a wedding cake did you? Our personal cake decorator designed this just for the mini bride and groom!


Who doesn't love the blue mohogs and pink feather boa tiara's?

Who's next? Could it be the three year olds who fight like cats and dogs?

Or maybe the 7 year olds? They get along so well most of the time. But, well their 7, so having fake weddings is probably too immature for them!



We had a great time. We laughed. The kids will remember our craziness forever and that was the reason behind this whole wedding day. I hope that my kids will be able to look back and remember that we were willing to do something crazy just to make them smile.

I Hear Wedding Bells!

It all started almost 3 years ago. In fact tomorrow will be 2 year and 8 months since they met. A wedding was inevitable from the start. You could watch them from across the room and see the mutual love between them. The way he said her name and the way his eyes lit up when he would talk about her was just amazing. They have never had many problems unless other people interfere and draw their attention away from each other. But even with the distraction they seem to find themselves drawn back to one another as if no time had passed and no one missed a beat.

There's a slight age difference but age isn't everything. Age is just a number right?

Well tonight he professed her love for her again and spent two of his very loved quarters on a ring just for her. He asked her to marry him and she said yes! He then put a quarter in another machine to get himself something. He was hoping for the tiny handcuffs but got a necklace instead! Imagine the disappointment. He got engaged and hoped for handcuffs next. Weird. Where'd he get that from? NOT IT! But he said that the necklace could be for little Magen (Megan to the rest of us but Magen to him).

Later at Amber's house Megan ran up to Korbin (Kormin as she calls him) and said "will you marry me?" He said yes! So Me, being me, asked Magen if she would like to have a wedding. She said yes and then Brandy and I got all crazy acting and ordered the cake and started making the plans. Due to short notice you'll all have to accept this as your invitation.

Brandy and Michelle

request your presence at

the union of their youngest children

Magen (Megan) Avery

and

Kormin (Korbin) Daniel

This seventeen day of May, Two Thousand Nine

3 o'clock at the park.

Please note this is a formal affair and proper attire is required.

There will be a dinner to celebrate the occasion immediately following the ceremony.

Hope to see you there. Instead of gifts please feel free to donate to our Relay For Life Team, The All Nighter's.

Branson First Annual Air Show

We were supposed to be going to the USO Military Appreciation Day at the St Louis Zoo on Saturday. The thing about that is that it has been planned for about a month now. We don't do planning so well. It always gets jacked up and things blow up in our faces and we get crazy acting! Well I do anyhow.

So as expected plans changed. I saw a TV commercial on Thursday for the Branson First Annual Air Show to be held all weekend for the grand opening of the newly built Branson Airport. It looked like fun so I immediately went to the website and set up a group chat with the girls on MSN messenger to run it by them. I expected resistance because one friend likes to plan things. likes to know what to expect. She isn't always a fan of my impulsiveness. The other one is a go with the flow as long as I'm having fun count me in!

They agreed to skip the boring old zoo crap that we can do anytime and go to the airshow. They however did not like the idea of leaving here at 7am Saturday morning to drive two hours. So we decided to stay the night. I saw an opportunity to take the boys camping. They did not see it my way.

I did some googling and found a KOA Campground in Branson that had a "second night free" deal going. They also had Cabins for my unadventurous friends who chose not to tent camp. One of our other, non-blogging friends was going to brave the tent camping with me. They booked their cabins, I booked my tent site and we waited excitedly for the next day to come.

Friday morning I woke to Amber calling me to say "get in your tornado shelter, OK bye". So I woke the boys and we hung out in our downstairs bathroom for a bit. It was during this time that I decided maybe a cabin would be a good idea. I changed our reservation.

Our friend and I left in the afternoon to head down and make the most of our weekend away. The others caught up later. We grilled, there were no injuries, illness or lost children. We only almost got into one fight with a Mennonite group who yelled at our kids. Yeah yeah we're probably going to hell for that but I don't care what religion you are, don't yell at the kids of moms who've been without their husbands and are exploding with bitchiness due to a lack of physical activity if you know what I mean!

We set her ass straight and I'm pretty sure I didn't even use the eff word. I don't think. But I'm pretty sure I would not have wanted to be the person who make the three of us mad enough to simultaneously fly up out of our chairs and cover 20ft of ground in three steps. She apologized later after learning by our cheering that we are families of deployed soldiers. Bet she prayed for forgiveness and thanked God for her freedom that night!

Anyhow, all was well and here are the pictures to prove it!

Korbin Says We Need a ForDealer

Korbin became extremely excited after watching a commercial tonight. I grabbed the camera. The first video shows the initial excitement but the second is a more in depth chat about the topic! Enjoy! He's a nut!

Tayton and Sawyer

We Scavenged, We Hunted, We Lost

One of the companies in our husband's battalion hosted a scavenger hunt for all of the companies. This works well for the three of us since each of our husbands are in different companies.

We didn't know what to expect. We got there and had to wait a gazillion minutes to get to started. We refused to be separated because we all rode in one car, brought one camera and well we didn't know anyone else. Everyone else was all buddy buddy with everyone so we were alright.

We misunderstood the rules. There were 35 clues/points of interest to find. We had an hour and a half to find as many as possible. The problem was that we thought we had to take a picture at each place to prove we were there and not just using the phone book or calling to get answers to the clues. We were wrong. The winning team did just that. They used their maps and phone book and just answered the questions. They got all 35 done. We got 21. But we got out and took pictures of the whole team (less the camera person) at every clue.

They may have won but we laughed and had so much fun and now we have pictures to remember it all! It wouldn't have been as much fun to not jump out of a still moving vehicle to run and pose for pictures. Now would it have been as much fun to not run uphill in mud boots laughing so hard just to find an answer to a clue. We got back and were wearing our trash bags poncho's and were soaking wet. Everyone else looked dry and thought we were nuts. It was only a few minutes later that we found out they knew we didn't need to get out at every stop.

OH well! Here are the pictures!


We hit the door running!

We laughed and laughed and laughed and the two bigger kids that got to come along had a good time too once they started jumping out at every stop with us!

Go ahead, point, laugh make jokes......we did!

The worst part was that I did not wear a sports bra and the girls kept jumping outta my bra when I'd run. Brandy couldn't keep her pants up so we were quite a pair!

We look good in trash bags don't we? I almost suffocated putting it on though, very scary!

I really hope to get to do this again when the guys come home. I also hope they make everyone take pictures the whole way too because I really think it made it more fun!

We had to run inside a couple places and shove unsuspecting Privates out of the way. We got crazy looks when we were shouting go go go as we ran out of the store and jumped into the van. Amber will make a great get-away driver when she grows up!

One Year Ago Our Hearts Were Broken

This was my post from one year ago today. Today we celebrated two of my favorite little girls (show below broken hearted) birthdays. This year we celebrate knowing that there is an end in sight! On our one year anniversary of our battalions deployment and our families being seperated we know that a few short months from now it's all going to be over with and we will have our soldiers back!

Remember to be grateful for every moment you have with your families!

So here it is. From May 2, 2008:


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Have you ever stopped long enough in your life to look around. To really really look at other people? Have you wondered how much families really care about each other and how much love they have to give? I often see people and think to myself (or maybe to my friends) how unlikely a couple looks together and wonder how their life really is behind closed doors. Or have you seen that group of teenage kids walking down the street all in black with crazy hair and every possible visible pierced part of their body shining with metal studs and wondered where on earth their parents were when they did that? Maybe Dad had spent four years of their teenage years deployed and Mom was wise enough to choose battles that protected their safety and let them make harmless stupid mistakes that they might regret later.



Today we did this at a time when families were at their most vulnerable. Having to watch your soldier form up for that last formation before being whisked away on crowded buses to an airport to board a plane with an M16 strapped to their back. Their weapon now sleeps beside them where their wives and children should be. How often do you turn your child away and send them back to their beds at night so you can sleep comfortably in yours without them kicking you all night long or waking up with their feet in your nose. And without thinking about that child who just said goodbye to their daddy (or mommy) for what seems a lifetime to them and could very well be a lifetime. How many times does a soldier have to go to war and come back alive before the statistics grab him too?




This is our life. This is what we do. And some of you may say "well you signed up for this is your choice, you knew what you were getting yourself into." For those of you who say that please click the little x at the top right corner now. For those of you who understand that we didn't sign up for this because we love being broke, alone and worried. We love our country. We love our freedom and we need to know that when we leave this Earth we did our part in making sure that someone else lived a better, safer life because of our sacrifice. Our soldiers fight for people who don't care who they are and don't want to hear the horror stories or pay their medical cost for a lifetime of pain. For people more worried about money then ensuring that their great great grandchildren will also be able to be free. Our guys don't want to go to war. They don't want to leave us behind but it's their duty. They feel it's what they should do for all of us left behind. They hate being away, they hate the life they lead while they are gone. They hate seeing their battle buddy wounded. And yet they do all of this to be hated by so many people who just don't get it.



We get it. We really do. We'd love for the war to end tomorrow and our guys to come home. But we know there is a reason. They believe in what they are fighting for. They are protecting us from more attacks on US soil by taking out the bad guy on his own sand (not much soil from the pictures I've seen).

Some of the younger kids have no idea what's happening. They are the lucky ones.


We'll send them letters, care packages filled with all of their favorite non-perishable items. Pictures, video's, phone calls and emails is what we have and we're so grateful for every bit of it! Civilians get contracted out to go to Iraq and Afghanistan and make at least twice as much money without all of the dangers. The military is like the legal way to have cheap labor. Instead of sweatshops they hang out in the desert dodging bullets. They do it anyway. It's okay because they have a support system. They have families at home who love them and miss them.



Deployments make us stronger. We learn how to be single parents. And while many civilians are too it's different. You see we have husbands, we just can see them or touch them. We still have to take care of them from afar. We send them the things they need, listen when they need to vent, take the brunt of their frustration backed by professions of undying love for us and their children. We have to try day after day to explain to little ones that Daddy is helping the good guys (not fighting the bad guys unless you want to battle with nightmares). We live far from family and can't call for a babysitter whenever we want because the people we'd want to see are in our boat. We can't afford to travel to see our parents and have help from family very often and when we do we have to plan it around school and R&R and God knows what.



Ok I'm done complaining. I love my life. I love my soldier. I hate that he's been gone for almost two months and will come home only to have to leave for a gazillion more but I love my freedom. My kids love their Daddy and miss him but it's all worth it in the end because it has to be. This is what we do.


I took this picture of my soldier and little guys a few weeks ago before he left for Maryland because I knew that like my close friends in the pictures above that my turn is next in a few short weeks.

Watching Him Walk Away


And here I go for all my girls.........HOOAH!

It's 2:30 in the morning but tomorrow brings another busy day and I just have to get these pictures I took edited. I'm not posting this blog till tomorrow though so I'll come back and add some pictures for you!

It's 2am on Sunday and I got the pictures added and now I can click publish. Girls thanks for letting me into your lives to invade your space and take pictures of the worst moments we can imagine but need to hold onto so badly. I love you guys and I know you'll be clicking away when I'm red faced and miserable. Thanks for being you!

Some Happiness for my 300th Post

We've had too much sadness lately. We knew that with losing our little Allie we had two choices. We could sulk and have a major void in our lives for a while or we can say we did our best for her. We loved her and we will miss her a ton but we've got to get on with it or the sadness will overcome us. We've had way too much of that and we're still a few months away from the end of the deployment.

We talked it over with Kirke. We looked at pictures together online and we talked about what we wanted and together as a family we chose our newest member of the family. If you think we should have waited longer and blah blah blah please keep that to yourself okay? We're not looking for advice on the situation just sharing our story.

We drove two hours south of here to get our new fuzzy family member and were not disappointed!

Meet Sawyer!! He's a 9 week old Australian Shepard/Sheltie Mix. He's mild mannered, friendly, playful and smart. He's perfect for our family! It's kind of scary how good he's been so far. I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Ok ok ok here he is!!!

Scrappy is a grumpy old man (11 yrs old now) but he can't hide his love of a new puppy!

He wanted in that water table so badly! He's so good!

Make sure you watch the video of Sawyer low crawling! He does it ALL the time it's so funny! We love him! We needed him and he needed us!

The Homeschool Plague

We're new to this whole homeschool thing. There are days that I wonder what the hell I was thinking but most days I'm grateful to have this opportunity and love working with the boys. The biggest problem I've encountered isn't really a problem but it just kinda bugs me.



We interact with many people in a regular day. From store workers to waitresses and neighbors and friends. People always talk to the kids, or the kids talk to them. Duct tape should solve that little problem. . We all know that when you talk to kids the normal things get asked "How old are you?" "What grade are you in?" And then there's the one that makes us outcasts: "What school do you go to?"



Now as a mom to public school kids I never thought much about homeschoolers. I always found it interesting and appealing but never had a negative thing to say. Unfortunately, telling people that we homeschool is like painting a big red X over our heads because we must be religious nuts, crazy and obsessed with something or we must have this need to keep our kids out of and away from public school and the students who attend schools.



There isn't just a line in the sand between homeschoolers and public schoolers, its a freakin brick wall sometimes. And the question always comes up "why do you homeschool?" and you can sense it even if it isn't spoken. I notice myself constantly not only explaining our choice but also defending it. This isn't usually because someone has attacked our choice, but because I feel like if I don't explain it then I'm automatically stereotyped.



Now don't misunderstand. I totally get where this wall between the two gets built up. I recently joined a local group online of homeschoolers that meets weekly and communicates using yahoo groups. I read a few of their conversations and went ahead and deleted myself from their group. They were way too religious and anti-public education for my taste. I also have struggled to find a curriculum with a good balance of core subjects without over emphasizing religion.

We don't have the plague, we aren't crazy nutcases we just had some major issues with the local public schools. So major that one of the boys is now going to be seeing a psychiatrist and is on medication to help him control his crazy mood swings and impulsiveness. Thank you local elementary for failing to protect my children!

I'm glad that we're at the end of the school year and we're going to take a normal summer vacation and refuel for next year. We bought a complete curriculum which should be easy to follow as opposed to this year where we jumped in head first without time to plan or adjust.

Okay I'm off to count our hours and see how much more we have to squeeze in before we can officially start summer vacation!

And Now She's Gone

Last night was a bad night for Allie and I. She woke me up a couple times and I took her to the bathroom and loved on her a little but she cried. I woke up this morning and she had messed in the kennel and cried in pain when i tried to get her out. She was wobbly on her front legs and it seemed she may have been experiencing some pain and weakness in her front legs too.

I gave her a bath and cleaned her up. I called the vet and I made an appointment to have her put down today. She was in pain and I can't watch her suffer. The boys and I loaded up in the van for the drive to the vet. Allie just laid down and rode in silence. I thought about turning around and taking her home and waiting to see what tomorrow may bring.

Instead we kept going. I needed time to accept that she wasn't going to get better. The knot in her back where her spine is messed up was so much more pronounced the past couple days. I knew it wasn't going to end well and had to prepare myself. I'm sad. The boys are sad. Our other dog, an 11 year old Cocker Spaniel/Lab mix is sad. He's moping around. When we came home without Allie he waited by the door for her to come in with us.

She was a good dog. We had her for 4 1/2 years. We'll miss her dearly. And now we move on.....

I'm Finished I Swear........Except Maybe...

I've been busying myself with taking care of our recently paralyzed dog Allie. It is a pain in the butt and time consuming but I'm happy to still have my dog and she's happy and making the most of her new lifestyle.

I know I said I was done modifying her wheelchair. I was done. Until I saw that she was having a hard time turning because of how high the sides came up. I broke out the saw and the angled PVC connectors and went to work. Here is the final, final chair...I think...

This is before the last changes:


Here she is enjoying being outside. yes the one side sits a little higher than the other but not as much as it looks in the picture. I guess I'll have to fix that.... so much for being done!

Complete with doggie pick up bags on the side! I'm still going to get her a new harness that she doesn't have to have slid over her head and she'll like that. But for now a shoe lace through that one works fine.

Mow The Lawn

I was hanging out over on Betty Confidential reading this article. The article is based around this European commercial:



Apparently some women find it offensive. I on the other hand find it freakin hilarious and it makes me want to run out and buy this new razor/trimmer. My favorite part is when it says "all that's left to see is tulips on the mound" lmao! Too freakin funny!

Maybe I have issues......

The Arrows Tell You Which Way!

My friend is moving and I'm afraid it's too far away from my house. So at 8pm tonight we loaded up my van with my family and her and her three monsters kids to measure the distance and time of the trip.

Right off the bat her almost 5 year old started crying and whining that she was thirsty, then she was hungry and on and on. So we did what any good parents would do and turned up the radio. That's when it happened. The stupid song that I hate with a passion came on. The so-called friend that was riding with me just loves that song so she cracked up and turned the radio up and started singing along. So I did what any person who is driving HER OWN car and a song she hates comes on would do. I pulled over got out, stood behind the van with my hands over my ears.

Did I forget to mention our other two friends were in the van behind us? Right, so they were a tad confused. The jackass friend in the car was so sweet that she rolled down the windows and locked the doors and blasted the radio. The other van full behind us was not impressed. I went to get back in after this friend turned off the song but the door was locked. So I again did what a normal person would do and grabbed the roof rack and slid in through the window.

We continued on our adventure and passed the road we were looking for and took the next. We drove and drove and drove to see this house, in the dark, on a dark country road, that people still live in. Finally, 10.5 miles and 18 minutes into our trip (including my fit throwing time) and we found the house. Or wait, maybe it's that one? Or is it that one? What the heck they all look the same? Hmmm......

We drove down to the turn around thingy. I rolled down the window to tell the driver of the van behind us which house she thought it was. And then I smelled something. What the hell is that smell? It smelled like finger nail polish remover. OH well, we rolled up the window and drove on. That was when I got the text that the smell was a can of orange spray paint I had apparently run over! Super, just freakin super!

We found our way out of the little "neighborhood" back to the main road. I said to my navigator "which way do I turn?" She pointed left so I turned on my left turn signal indicator. Then the peanut gallery in the back seat pipes in "Michelle, the arrows tell you which way to go, why don't you just look at your little thing up there?"

I was confused. Maggie was turned off and there were no arrows on the road. Then she said "the little green blinking one". As if I'm completely stupid and had no idea the blinking arrow told ME which way to go instead of me flipping the switch in the direction I intend to go.

Thank God she won't be driving, or navigating anytime soon!

Sorry....

I'm sorry my last post was so psycho. I was having a rough day. I know many of you probably think I'm nuts. That the dog should be put to sleep if it can't walk or whatever but, well that's not happening. My past week has been totally consumed by Allie and how to handle her new found lifestyle. We are embracing it and enjoying making her cart and remaking it. We having finally settled on the design and used pvc cement to complete the new and improved Allie Mobile!

We took her back to the vet on Friday and they said she's doing good, not in pain, happy and as long as I'm okay with her care that we should just keep on keepin' on! So we will just roll with it and take it one day at a time!

Here she is with her newest set of wheels! Thanks for the support!