My Favorite Things Swap

I signed up on Sunshine and Lemonade to participate in her My Favorite Things Swap. Our job was to buy the person we were assigned OUR favorite things. We got a list of what they liked and most importantly didn't like but we basically ignored what they liked to introduce them to our own favorite things and to get to know someone new.

I received my package in the mail today and was so excited! Mandee from Dover Family Circus and Some of This and Some of That.

She sent me this gigantic, cute bundled basket of goodies!

It included:
Cookie mix, birthday candles (her birthday is her favorite holiday!), a Halloween tea light holder, photo frame, Chill Out Scooby Doo (book), a journal, a set of stamps and ink from Stampin' Up, some smiley face glitter stickers, a Whatchamacallit and a journal.

That was all fantastic but there's more!!

My two favorite things out of her favorite things was a little jar that was decorated and inside are several strips of paper. Each strip of paper has a question. These questions are to be used as journal writing ideas (or blog writing ideas) for when my brain is sleeping! It was so thoughtful! I love that!

And my number one favorite thing in the basket is a book! It's called "Great Kids Are Homemade" and is filled with the best ideas ever on how to plan fun family nights! They are so off the wall.........like me........that it's perfect for my naughty little blond boys! I'm so excited to try some! Our Friday night dinners at my house **that have coincidentally turned into Thursday, Friday, Saturday and at least one weekday too lately** might have just become a bit more interesting for the masses of children who show up hungry!

Thank you sooooooo much Mandee!!! Go check out her blogs they are great great great!!

Dover Family Circus AND Some of This and Some of That

They Got the Best of Me

Today was another rough day with the naughty little blond boys. To start off I spent the entire school day at the elementary doing health screenings. We had three parent volunteers, me, Amber, and another Mom and then we had a group of probably 10-12 Marines who are here at the Fort for training. They were more than happy to skip out on two days of training to help us out.

Every year the nurse has to record every students height, weight, vision, hearing and do a head lice check. We have over 300 students from kindergarten through 6th grade. Out of those 300 about 120 are sixth graders! We got through all but about 60-70 students today!

It was fun, but it was a long day of directing students to the right stations and maintaining crowd control. At the end of the day Amber and I met up at my house to sit and look at each other and hope the kids could behave so we could get off our feet for a few minutes. We had dinner then took them to the park. I know how mean that sounds of me! I fed them dinner and took them to the park to play with Brandy's family! By the way they acted in the car on the way to the park you'd have thought they were being punished by going to the park! They were terrible!

My frustration continued to build while we were at the park. I was trying to have a serious chat with Tayton about his behavior and this other kid kept coming up and saying "don't worry I can take care of him for ya!" The dad just sat on the bench and would say "leave them alone his mom is talking to him"! But he never got up to get the kid away from us. Even when I very openly ignored the child. Then the kid turns to his dad and says "would you just leave me alone"! This kid was only four. That was aggravating!

Then we had to go to Wal-Mart for a few things. My frustration continued to build as I had to listen to the boys whine and ask for everything within their view! I was so frustrated with them. At this point not much of what they did could please me. I had already had enough and that just pushed me further towards that edge.

When we got home I told them to skip showers get pajamas on, brush their teeth and get into bed. I went upstairs and Korbin was acting like a fool. Neither kid was in bed and I had just lost it. I tucked Korbin in and told him I love him and that I need him to start acting like a five year old. Then it happened....on came the tears. My tears. I'm so frustrated with them not showing me any respect. They aren't listening or even pretending to care that I get so upset. Korbin said to me "I know that you miss daddy and I do too. Mom I'll scoot over so you can sleep with me okay." And he hugged me.

I pulled myself together and went to tuck in Tate and he said "mom are you okay?" I answered honestly and told him no. I told him I need him and his brother to start behaving better and start helping out more so that I don't feel so stressed out. He said "come here Mom I want to kiss you 15 times". He kissed me and hugged me and I told him good night and that we love him.

Aren't they just so sweet? Keep reading....

Then I went into my room to change and as I came out I caught Korbin in Taytons room. SERIOUSLY?? It had only been about two minutes! I sent him back to his own room and came downstairs. Same thing a few minutes later. They pretend to care and then turned around and blew it. I need chocolate...and a vacation.... and something for my eyes if they push me to tears anymore.

Tayton's a Star and Korbin's on Red

How can I possibly have two kids who are so completely different??

They have similarities.

They are sweet little boys.....when they're sleeping.

They always think of others first......... in case they might toucing their toys or standing too close!

They are known for their humor........no matter how far fetched it might be.

They are both smart........even if it's only used to plot against me!

They love me very much......or so they say!

They want to be good boys.......when they are writing sentences for being naughty.

They are cute as can be.......too bad they know that and use it against me!

So here's the situation.

Today at school Tayton was awarded the Star Award. This is an award that one student from each class is chosen for each week. They have differnet colored stars for each month that will represent a character trait that the Star Students have displayed and they hang from the ceiling in the main hallway at school all year long.


Tayton was presented the Responsibility Star. He said to me "I know it's for being responsible but I don't know what I did to be responsible." I told him it's probably because he does his work and makes good choices and does what he's asked to do. He told me "yeah at school I do those things!" As if to remind me that it ends when the end of the school day arrives! Little Snot!!


So while I'm so happy that my little Tayton had no idea his name was going to be called because I wondered what he would do and thought it was best to find out through experience rather than protecting him like I tend to do. Anyhow he heard his name, stood up, hesitated a moment next to his teacher and with a word of encouragement marched right up in front of over 300 students and 20 something teachers and parents and stood proud with his little award! I was so happy I could have cried! That's a big step for him!

Then I walked to Korbins class with him and heard from about half the class "Korbins on red, Korbins on red!" And I wanted to scream! First off Korbin's teacher and Korbin's mom can handle it without every kid worrying about his business. And second that totally ruined my mood. Red means that he made very bad choices in school for the day.

How can I have two kids who are so incredibly different? They came from the same gene pool. They are raised in the same house with the same rules and discipline. However, they could not be more different. Tayton is quiet and reserved and cautious. Korbin would dance on the tables for a crowd of 50 for the right price. Tayton withdraws and cries quietly to himself. Korbin can kick and scream with the best of two year olds! Tayton is naughty at home and not at school. Korbin is naughty pretty much most of the time.

The dad can come home anytime now before I lose my mind please!!

Laundry Mishaps

I was swapping the laundry over last night and as I pulled the clothes out of the washer I could hear things falling back into the washer. That's never a good sound especially with my two naughty little blond boys. I continued to move the clothes to the dryer and then I braved a peek to see what had been lucky enough to be washed. Here is what I found:

Now you'd think that after the crayon mishap last week that I would have started checking pockets. Especially when I'm washing an entire load of blue jeans. Nope! I'm an idiot. So much of an idiot that I didn't even check the pockets of the jeans before moving them into the dryer. If I had then I would have found all this before it got baked into the dryer.

So maybe next time I will check pockets....or not. I can't believe they wasted cheese! That is sinful in this house! And thank god it didn't melt all over the jeans because it was string cheese not sliced cheese! The can tabs are for the school by the way we aren't doing weird things or anything here. Well sorta........

Vonage Eff Ups AND Korbin Thinks I'm a Saint!

Here's the latest in Vonage Visual Eff Up's!


"Hi Michelle. (??) We do find a tough tractor and we have to splint that thing. So all you had to do is. I'm gonna have a tracker girl. I'm trying to get hold of you. Let's see if I could make an appointment and see if we can catch up there, and (guess? up that properly. Ok? So, I'll try to get hold of you, for tomorrow or the next day. Ok. Meantime, your buddy tape, Tathan. (??) Ok. Bye bye."


--- Brought to you by Vonage ---
This email was sent from a mailbox that does not accept replies.


What it really said was that my little boy has his first broken bone. The tip of his finger is crushed. It had to be splinted and they said it will cause pain for probably 3 months. Life in our house will be full of tears.

I took him to the doctor this morning because he's been on breathing treatments every four hours with a fever off and on since Friday. They said he had a throat infection (since he can't have tonsilitis without tonsils) and put him on meds.


Thursday he had been playing on the playground in the rocks. Well he and his pals had found a ginormous rock and one little boy tossed it and Taytons finger caught it.....or cushioned it's landing at least. So since were being seen today I asked them to do an xray to make sure it's not broken.


Then I got that visual voicemail around 2 today and called them back. I wanted it handled today because I don't want him to miss school tomorrow. So I did what any stupid responsible mom would do and I took Korbin out of school and then rush to the hospital to have Tayton see his doctor, this was around 2:30 and we had to be at the other end of the hospital at 2:45 for Korbins ears. At 2:45 the doctor hadn't come down to splint his finger yet so I started pacing. You see at these military doctors they require us to be 15 minutes early for our appointments. That's to allow them plenty of time to sit and laugh us idiots wasting 15 minutes of our time sitting in germ infested waiting rooms. So I was worried they wouldn't see Korbin at ENT if we got there at his actual appt. time of 3:00. I mean he hadn't sat in their waiting room inhaling enough germs so he might not have qualified to be seen.

But they did see him and it went fine. His ears are still infected because he was only put on an oral antibiotic and not the ear drop one. His other tube has come out but is stuck in his ear canal so we have drops for that side now too. That's what we do for fun in our house!

Anyone wanna come play at our house?

Here's the damage five days after the accident. See the bruising halfway down that finger? It's ugly in person....Kinda like some people I (nevermind I'll keep it to myself)!
Here's his fakey fake sad face!
And here's what he thinks about me making him let me take pictures of his painful injury!!!

This just in:

Korbin came downstairs well after I put him to bed.

Korbin: Mom my belly grumbled

Me: Go to the bathroom

Korbin: No my belly grumbled for you.

Me: what?

Korbin: It said it needed you! And then I said it too.

Me: GO TO BED!!!

Korbin: I was ner-biss upstairs up without you.

Me: Why aren't you asleep?

Korbin: Well I was alseep and then your tv woked me up.

Me: go back to bed

Korbin: I will when you go to bed.

Me: When I was five years old I went to bed way earlier than this.

Korbin: Ohhhhh. Were you in trouble?

Me: No! I never got in trouble I was a good kid!

Korbin: Awesome!

I have him fooled! He still thinks I'm 21 too!

My Kids Have Issues

Exhibit A:
Tayton just told me his teacher taught him how to make applesauce. Tayton said "You just need apples, cinnamon and sugar. We have to cut the center out of apple and then you peel it and throw them into the crackpot. We have one of those right mom?"

I was trying to stop laughing and was not successful so he said "don't we have a crackpot mom?"

I'm pretty sure I'm not a crackpot mom.

Exhibit B:
Korbin is reading a cookbook and wanted to write our names in it. I pointed to our wooden sign by the door that says each of our names. He was very upset that his name was last. I tried to explain that it was because he was born last. That wasn't good enough for him. In his mind we clearly favored Tayton more because he got to be born first. Then he said "Was Tayton on top of me when I was a baby?" I'm not sure if he meant in the womb or what but I just shook my head in no particular direction so that I didn't mistakenly justify something to him.

Exhibit C:
A couple days ago the boys were fighting about showing their butts.....seriously....so I called them both downstairs and made them stand by the door. I asked them "what were you thinking when you did that?" and Korbin's response was "ummm my brain was sleepin".

Exhibit D:
I told the boys it's time to go to bed. They had brought down their blankets and sheets to be washed. I asked them to grab a blanket to use for the night while their other ones were being washed. Korbin says to me "no thanks, I'll just use a towel". GRRRR Who does that?

For more examples of their issues scroll down or click a month from the sidebar in the archives.

I might lose my mind soon. Very very soon!

Amber Takes One for The Team

My two great friends and I played swap the kids all day today. It's a great new game everyone should play and see who wins by who lost the least amount of kids by the end of the game!

Let's see if you can follow this.


At 8am I had Tayton and Korbin and then I went and picked up Ambers kids, Lil C and Cadie along with another friends son to take them to school. I dropped off the four big kids and then Lil C and I headed to Brandy's for breakfast and got there around 8:30 with her and Megan.


Korbin had an appointment at 9:40 because at 1am last night he came to my room crying in pain from his ear. Pain that was so bad that an hour after motrin he was still crying and kicking in pain. I gave him tylenol. About an hour after that he felt better and went to sleep. I knew his tube was working it's way out so that's what I figured all the fuss was about since he had no fever.


At 9:00 I left Brandy's went to the school and got Korbin. Brandy kept Lil C for Amber who was at her own appointment. When I picked up Korbin he had ***STOP READING HERE IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH*** snot like fluid oozing out of his ear. The doctor looked in his nasty little ear and said the tube was gone but that he had a major infection....the snot was my first guess! Then he looked in the other ear, said the tube was in place but that his other ear was also infected! Poor kid! So we went back to school picked up Korbins things because he would be out the rest of the day.


Amber finished her appointment and went and got Lil C from Brandy. Brandy then came on post and dropped off Megan at another friends day care for a couple hours while I took Korbin to Amber for a couple hours because the two of us (Brandy and I) had hair appointments at 1:00. Then at 2 I had to go pick up Brandy's daughter E from school and take her to the dentist because Brandy's hair was taking too long. This meant Amber had to pick up Tayton and Cadie and our friends little boy from school on post. Plus pick up Megan from Day Care.


So at 3pm I had E, Brandy had no one...lucky b......and Amber had Korbin, Lil C, Megan, and picked up Cadie, Tayton and M. Brandy had to go get her son N and I got Megan, Korbin and Tayton from Amber at the school because Tate got hurt and needed his Mama. I gave Amber E so she could play with Cadie.


Are you tired yet? Did you keep up with who had what kid at what time? Me either!! All I know is that at least Brandy and I got cute new hair out of it and all Amber got was a headache!!

Thanks for taking one for the team Amber!

Here's my new hair. I still have to color it brown and do my highlights again but I haven't made it to store lately. I don't know why since it's not like I'm ever doing anything!

Here is Brandys new hair. Her ten year old didn't notice that she had a inches cut off he just noticed that she got the "gold back in it". BOYS!!!

The Minds of Kids

Today we were in the car after school and Korbin told one of our little passengers that he has a Capliced Car! His friend quickly said "no it's not"! Tayton jumped right in and said "let's not get all scientific about it!"

After school I had planned to take them to the park. Nope they wanted to stay home instead. I'm a little confused who these two little boys are and why they are pretending to be mine.
When we got home we came inside and Korbin said he'd like to do his homework please. He didn't want to go play upstairs with his brother and other two friends. He didn't beg to watch cartoons. Nope he wanted to sit next to me and work on homework.

I wanted to order pizza for dinner. The boys wanted pizza right up until Tayton saw IT on the counter and begged me to please let them eat at home. Please just order pizza for myself and they will eat IT instead. I was so not gonna order pizza just for myself so we are all eating IT instead. Want to know what IT is that lured my kids away from pizza? Ramen Noodles! That's right! Here I sit eating the last thing in my cupboards I'd like to eat while my kids are all smiles with their no nutritional value what.so.ever ramen. They even said "thanks mom it's so good!" I'm skilled with a microwave and hot water what can I say?

I'm scared.

Mr. Crayola Meet Mr. Brand NEW Maytag Bravos Dryer

Today I don't want to be the mom anymore. I decided to wash some clothes because naughty little blonde boys insist on wearing underwear and socks to school! I had left a load of clothes in the washer before I got sick yesterday but no biggie, I tossed it into the BRAND NEW DRYER (did I mention it's brand new?) and went on about my business. I threw in the whites with bleach and detergent and even fabric softener now that I have a high tech washer with a fabric softner dispenser built in! I was just trying to be a good mom ya know?

SO the washer and dryer beeped at me (another new feature I'm not used to) and I took the hot clothes out of the dryer and that was when I saw red! Seriously I saw red..and it was all over the drum of the dryer. AND THE CLOTHES!!! The load had the boys school pants and a few other odds and ends in it. Here's the result:

Thank you very much naughty little blonde boys! Now we'll be going to the outlet store this weekend and I know how much you LOVE to shop! Ha take that ya little punks! I'll show you!

Anyone know how to get crayons out of blue jeans and other clothes? I tried shout but that just made my throat hurt more and the crayon didn't budge. Grrrr! OH and it's 10:30 and they are still awake because I can't yell at them to go to sleep. They are totally taking advantage of me! Just you ya know!

GIVE IT AWAY

Burgh Baby's Mama has gone crazy! She's giving away everything! From coffee to music to cosmetics! But you have to enter by tonight so what are you waiting for? Click here to win
And for some of her best writing yet click here to read her 9/11 post.

I Give Up

I went to the doctor today because I had a 102 fever last night and my throat feels like I swallowed a cat and it clawed the hell out of my throat the whole way down. It hurts to open my mouth, it hurts to move my tongue and my tonsils are the size of basket balls and I'm grumpy. It hurts to swallow which means my body is having some serious diet pepsi withdrawls and did I mention I'm grumpy?

The doctor looked at my throat and laughed. Yep he chuckled. And then he said "well it's no wonder you're in so much pain"! Gee thanks! Actually he was very kind to me but he did laugh at me when he saw how ugly it was in there. He gave me lots of medicines but nothing for the pain. I need something for the pain. An 18 wheeler ought to just do the trick I think!

I took the flea ridden dogs to the vet today. The vet was a very bad word and made me more grumpy than I was before. She argued with me about the age of my dog! Seriously! I've had him for ten years he was a year old when I got him...in 1998! She insisted he must be younger than that because he doesn't look that old! Grrr! My dog ages well, geesh back off lady! Then I told her we had chinchillas and she said "hope you don't expect them to live long"! WHO DOES THAT?? Come on be a little professional already! I left the vet with flea crap for the dogs and stupid flea bombs for the house that I paid way too much for because this vets office sucks bad!

I came home to talk to Kirke. Amber picked up the boys from school for me and I just ordered pasta from Pizza Hut for dinner, not that I can swallow but it's worth a shot. Tayton has been waiting on the pasta to get here and just came in the house and said "what's taking so long? Are they using a pizza delivery bike or what?" He's right it's been almost an hour.

So I quit. I give up. The boys homework can wait until tomorrow, the house can stay a mess. The garage and van have a mysterious odor that I don't care to investigate today either. Instead I'll feed the naughty little blond boys and lay on the couch and pray the medication starts to work soon.

Want to Win Something?

I like to win stuff! I don't really want you to win because if you win that means I didn't but since I get extra chances to win just by telling you guys about this giveaway it's worthwhile to let the cat out of the bag. Mama Kat is giving away a vacuum! Yep! One of my favorite things ever! I love love love them and could never have too many. In fact I've been thinking how much I need one just for upstairs! I hope I win and you should go enter too.

The Korbin and Melissa Saga Continues

I decided I needed to know if Korbin was still mad at Melissa (my 29 yr old bff) because she's getting married.

Me: Korbin are you still mad at Melissa?

Korb: Yes

Me: Why?

Never mind I need to video this. Here ya go!

Don't worry I already scheduled therapy to try to ward off the violent tendencies in my dear sweet Korbin!

Melissa, just so you know we love you and we (and by we I mean Tayton and I) love Chris and will be happy to not sign Korbin out of the asylum on September 19th of next year if he doesn't straighten up by then!

This just in: We told Korbin that his little Megan has a new boyfriend that she was playing with at the park and his name is Chris. He said he was gonna push her in the water too. And I asked why he would push little Megan in the water and he said "Oh not little Megan cause Ms Brandy would whoop my butt!" So Big Megan you better stick with Josh cause if you bring a Chris into the picture you're a goner!

Melissa call your mom and have her call Korbin and straighten him out so that Korbin will be afraid to push you in too okay!

Korbin Come Back Inside!

Today the boys and I were making dinner. A good wholesome dinner of bacon, eggs and toast! The boys put the bread in the toaster and turned the dial all the way up. I of course didn't know cause I was busy cooking the bacon. I found out as soon as it popped up and I smelled the burnt toast. Our trusty smoke alarms went off a few minutes later....good thing we weren't on fire! Korbin took off running out the door. I yelled to him to get back in the house and he said "but what if we burn up in the fire"? He was refusing to come back in!

Darn kid! He heard me say "the toast set off the smoke alarms" but ran out the door anyway! After I fanned the smoke detector for a second it went off.

I got Korbin back into the house and decided we should talk about fires. I asked them where they thought we should meet if there really was a fire. We decided at the mailboxes on the corner. Then Tayton said "yep and we just run right out there and don't bring anything with us right mom?" And Korbin piped up and said "well we have to bring the stove, duh". I jumped in and said "why would we bring the stove?" Korbin replied "because it's really important to have a stove. What would we cook on if it burned up?"

Duh of course!! What was I thinking?

Tayton went on and said "well it's not too important if we, you know (makes a throat cutting movement with his hand to represent dying I guess) in the fire."

Silly boys!

10,000!!! Woohoo!

~Woohoo~

I was just on my stat counter and it showed that I am at 9,999 visitors! So I should do something to celebrate! I think I'm gonna have to figure out something fun! I'll get back to you on that! If you're reading this please comment and tell me what my stat counter says on the left side bar!
Thanks!

15 Things That I Suck At

I am not without flaws. I know you're probably surprised ...... or not ...... but I have many flaws and I thought you should know about a few of them.

1. I suck at folding and putting away laundry. I'll wash and dry it all day but when it comes time to move on to the next step I'm suddenly so tired or my arms and legs are broken so I can't possibly fold laundry. Therefore once a week I build Mt. Laundry in my living room chair and after a few days of diving in to find clothes to wear only to find the most wrinkled shirts ever seen by the naked eye, I give in and fold my clothes and put them away. Seriously have you seen the new GE washer and dryer commercial with the 6 months of laundry ball rolling around? That was mine.

2. I suck at cooking small meals. I always cook way too much! Even with both of my friends and their herd of kids here I still end up with left overs. I have recently realized I also SUCK at eating left overs and end up wasting food. Sad.

3. I suck at getting up in the morning to get the kids ready for school. Yep last week they woke up and let me sleep in which resulted in them being tardy for school. Oops! Today we got up at 7:30 and had to leave at 8. I suck!

4. I suck at understanding the ridiculous things that come home from school! Today my 5 year old had a note in his folder from his PE teacher stating that because he was absent one day and missed 20 minutes of PE, that he had until the end of the week to make up that work. WHAT? That's right! I have to sign a form stating that he has been physically active for 20 minutes to get participation credit for that day that he was home sick! WTF? Seriously? He's 5! Is it acceptable to write that he completed his 20 minutes by racing from the dining to the living room and diving onto the love seat? Or how about that he practiced throwing by using my clean socks that were supposed to be carried up the stairs and not launched as grenades from the top of the stairs! Or how about the forbidden jumping on the bed? It's not encouraged but does take place and I'm certain that he's done at least 20 minutes of that over the past few days. And like any normal 5 year old boy he cannot walk! He runs everywhere he goes within the house, can I add up those minutes? Because I KNOW he's run from his room to the kitchen at least 100 times!

5. I suck at trying to rationalize with my children! I need them to clean their junk out of my hallway so that I can get to my own room. They can't figure out why it's not okay to have the mattresses, gigantic bear and moose, kitchen stools and every blanket they can get their grubby little paws on into my bedroom doorway! Then they can't figure out why I'm throwing things out of the way like a mad woman! Here's another example from tonight:

Why do we have to do homework? Because you're teacher sent it home and wants you to do it so you can be smart.
Well then why didn't she make us do it at school? Because she ran out of time.
Well then why did we have so much time for free choice centers? Damn it I don't know! Do your work or I'm selling you on eBay!

6. I suck at keeping my car clean! I try. I do. But then we spend a day running around doing things which leads to eating in the car which leads to food on the floor and papers and wrappers. Which leads to me being mad about it but having my hands full when we go in the house so I can't grab the mess and they fail to have enough empty hands too and I suck at remembering to make them go back out and clean it up! Right now I need to fold the seats down and jack up the front of the van and just let it all slide out into the dumpster!

7. I suck at following through with my threats to naughty little blond boys! Mostly this is because I like to think I'm funny which leads me to making irrational threats that if I did carry through with I'd wind up in jail. Like the time Korbin was playing with our friends hubby Big C and hauled off and punched him right in his stuff! I'm pretty sure I threatened to take his stuff right off if he ever hit someone there again! Well duh! It's not like it's stuck on using Velcro!

8. I suck at being patient with these guys when I'm stressed out! Yep I turn into a yelling screaming maniac of a mom who should probably be locked in a padded room except that would require the Dad to come home from the desert and the Army doesn't want that so they tolerate me....for now!

9. I suck at keeping my mouth shut! Yep I do! Don't act surprised! I let things slip right through my lips without even thinking twice about the political correctness of my words. And I like to be right! And when I am right I like to prove that I'm right. Yep that's me! I'm a right fighter!

10. I suck at singing! Yep I have the voice of a coon dog. But that's okay cause I like to sing along with my favorite songs. Especially ones that annoy my friends or make me look silly. I'm okay with that!

11. I suck at saying NO! HUGE flaw! So from now on when I say "yes" take that as a "no" okay? Most of the time this isn't a problem except when people start to take advantage of me. Then it gets ugly. Mostly because the rest of my friends who don't take advantage of have my back and will tell you that you're taking advantage of their "door mat" ! Thanks guys!

12. I SUCK at being serious! I can't do it! I make everything into a joke. I'm the girl making fun of my friends during the sad movies for crying because I can find something funny about the situation. I am also the girl making jokes when everyone is sitting quietly or when we're trying to be a responsible audience. I can't help it, it makes me happy. I am not good at being serious. It's not fun and I suck at not being fun!

13. I suck at doing one thing at at time! I can't just sit and watch TV. I have to be text messaging or playing solitaire on my cell phone or messing around on the computer. I can't just talk on the phone either. I have to be driving or cleaning or again on the computer. Or maybe folding laundry....Oh that might be a plan!

14. I suck at confrontations. I will always end up apologizing for something that I have no reason to be sorry about or I'll end up just getting mad and staying mad! Oh well screw it! See....

15. I suck at turning my brilliant ideas into brilliant plans and carrying through with them. I have all these crazy thoughts pop into my little head and then I tell someone but that's usually where it ends. I need more of a drive to follow through. I suck at following through.

So some of you may wonder what I'm going to do about all of these problems? No? Well you should be wondering because those are 15 things that I suck at doing and should want to fix right? Nah I didn't think so either. I'm okay with those things. I'll work on them some other time....or not cause I suck at following through!

Oh well people love me anyhow! Right? Don't you?

What do you suck at? Would you fix it if you could?

I'm into Swapping and Thought You Should Know!

I just signed up for a swap over on Sunshine and Lemonade!! Woohoo! You should sign up too! It sounds like lots of fun and a reason to shop! But hurry cause the deadline is tomorrow!

What in the World?

I was over hanging out on Burgh Baby trying to catch up on some reading. I was reading about her early Christmas decorating and I clicked a link and it took me to this web page. I was completely confused.

Upside down Christmas Trees? What the....? They hang from the ceiling or mount on the wall? Are you kidding me? Why?

And then it hit me....KIDS!! Naughty little blonde boys would be the reason for this invention and although strange it's brilliant! I spent the first two years of their holidays trying my hardest to fend them off from the tree. The problem was that even with baby gates stretched around the tree these boys managed to find a way to get to the tree, the ornaments and of course the presents!

If I could have hung the tree on the way out of their reach we would have had it made! Except that hanging a tree on the wall is just plain weird! Where do you put the presents? Would we duct tape them to the ceiling too? How pretty would that be? And then on Christmas day do we let the kids pretend they are pinata's and try to get them down?

Now I understand that it's a good way to keep the pets/kids out of the tree as well as to avoid taking up valuable floor space in your home but seriously? Do people really buy these? Would you ever buy and upside down Christmas Tree? Have you ever seen one in real life?

A Flying Head!

When we lived in Alaska we had the best neighbors. Well actually we had the HEAD neighbors because we're the BEST neighbors. You see, our last name is Best and theirs is Head. That's right, we were the Best Heads! Coincidentally *Bendy Head (first names have been changed to protect the identity of those involved)became one of my BFF's ever!

She called me today and told me this great story about her 36 year old husband (see Seal* (again this name has been changed to protect his identity, you're welcome) you know we love you because I lied about your age by three years so everyone would picture you as the young handsome guy you are...or something like that!)! A few months ago he decided to "go green" and ride his bike to work! He works very long days from 4 or 5am or so until well after dark most days.

Little did he know he'd be going green in style! The new style of grass stained skin that is! I made this picture right after she told me about his midnight flight and landing on the hard concrete as he missed his jump up to the sidewalk and flew over the handlebars!! Poor Seal! His arm is in a cast now. And I really hope he feels better soon! I do.. I swear! I can't help it if I laughed myself into coughing fits while she told me the story. She was laughing too ya know. That's right I'm "that girl" who will rat out her friend to make herself look less evil! So there Bendy* laughed first!

Here's the picture I made when I talked to her today.

Meet Seal The Flying Head!!

Oh I would have given to be that squirrel! Just to be there to see him fly through the air and count how many times he bounced help him up and make sure he was alright. Poor poor Seal*! We love you anyway and the training wheels are in the mail!!

**In an effort to protect the identity of the Head family I changed their first names. With Head being such a common last name I'm certain changing their first names will do the trick!

You're Welcome!

My Friends SUCK Rock!

A couple days ago Brandy and/or Amber *for this post we shall call them Bramber because I can't be certain who said what or even if either of them were actually there in real life!* told me that my tail light and brake light were out on my van on the passenger side. Good friends do things like that right? And so being the naieve trusting friend that I am I went ahead and bought replacement bulbs at Wal-Mart (again we don't have a Target, I'm sorry) a day or two after Bramber told me. They sat in my van waiting to be installed until tonight.

We got home from Columbia, dinner and a quick shopping trip for lunch stuff for tomorrow and I decided while my naughty little blond boys showered I'd go ahead and change the bulbs. First I had to hunt for the dumb socket set because I tend to relocate things continuously in the house to keep things interesting.

Once I found them I went out to get to work. My wonderful neighbor came over to see if he could lend a hand and of course despite my feeling the need to prove myself as a competent woman who can change out a bulb I let him jump right in. He loosened the two bolts and then said "wait is this the side?" To which I replied "umm that's what they told me". So he decided we'd better check first to make sure.

So I jumped in the car and stepped on the brake pedal. Guess what? Give up? The lights all worked for the brakes. So he told me to turn on the headlights to see if it was just the tail lights. Guess what? Yep you got it.... THEY ALL WORKED! "Try your blinker" he instructed. I did that too, guess what? Tired of this game? Me too!! "Turn on the four ways so you can come back here and see".(I know he's bossy right?) Not one single one of my lights on the back of my car were out. Not one my friends, not one!

Instead of looking like a perfectly capable 28ish year old woman I looked like the dumb neighbor with a deployed husband who changes out perfectly good lightbulbs just because her friends tell her they are burned out and doesn't check for herself! Thanks Bramber! I needed to look foolish today!

Oh hey Brandy, your headlight isn't really out either! So there! And Amber you're blinker fluid needs filled! Ha ha! So there HA!